sawatdeewanmere

Happy mother's day in Thailand!!! I'm going to tell you about my hilarious Mother's Day with my boyfriend's mother. (His name is Toy, her name to me is Mother of Toy.) He wasn't there because he's currently fighting in the South with the army.

*The following has been translated from complete Thai to English, because she speaks NO english.

So on Monday we had talked on the phone about meeting up together on Wednesday (today of course) in the morning since school is closed and and I had the day off. So I set my alarm for 7:00am (even though we hadn't discussed a time) because I knew she was an early riser and I had to make sure I got to the flower store first thing in the morning. You have to buy things like that the day OF the holiday, and it's a particular flower called a "dogmalie" that you have to give your mother, or boyfriend's mother as it were.

So I was planning to get up at 7:00 and walk up the road, get a flower, cmoe home, get dressed up niec for my mystery day with the mystery mother. She calls at 6:45.

DOH! I clear my throat and say good morning in Thai and she says " good morning, soon will come pick up you" then I said, "can you wait until I shower? I didn't think we would go this early," and she said "you don't have to shower, we will shower together." so I hang up the phone, very very confused and send Reffa to the store (poor reffa) while I get ready crazy fast. I put make up and stuff on, trying to look as best I cuold without a shower at 6:45am. So she arrives at the house just before 7, and Reffa still isn't back with the flower DOH! So I stall a little bit trying to get ready, sweating, and unprepared for this "sacred" day in Thailand with mother.

Reffa comes walking slowly up the street, and they ask me, isn't that your sister? (*everyone thinks we're sisters becuase we didn't use to know the word for cousin in thai). I say, yes, it is. And I'm forced to admit that I sent Ref to buy my presents to give her DOH! So she smiles and says "Mai pen rai." Then she says "Good morning Jessica you look more fat now then you did last time, maybe you can wear one of my shirts today." and I say "Thank you Mother of Toy, you have a kind heart, Happy Mother's Day" and She says "Thank you daughter" and then my morning alarm goes off to wake me up at 7am. Off to a great start! hahaha!!!

So we go driving to a place called nam rohn, which translates to "Hot Water"- basicaly hot springs. Naturally steaming hot water in big nice pools. it's kinda awesome actually! So there were lots of people there and we went over and then I realized, shit, they want me to showr in that water, in my clothes (there's no such thing as wearing a bathing suit for thai people, they wear their clothes in the water, jeans, long sleeves, anything.) So I was like "Mother of Toy, I don't have a change of clothes what should I do?" and she was like "dont' worry daughter, I have many clothes with me, you can wear one of those" so I change in the parking lot and we go have an "ab nam" (shower) in the hot springs with a lot of other people fully clothed. It was actually really nice with the cool morning air and hot hot water. It was interesting. Here's how our conversation went while we were in the hot springs ... (J for me, M for her)

M- daughter, do you like the hot water?
J- yes it's nice
M- come before or not?
J- Yes come before
M- ow. do you like it?
J- Yes I like it again.
M- Do you miss my son?
J- Yes I miss Dtoy.
M- Did you gain weight?
J- No I didn't.
M- I think you'll be more beautiful if you lose 5 kilograms.
J- I will ty to lose 5 kilgrams.
M- Good idea. I will love you either way, but I will think you are more beautiful if you are thinner. I wish I was thinner. Am I beautiful daughter?
J- Yes Mother of Toy, you are beautiful.
M- Do you like my hair?
J- Yes I like your hair.
M- Are you hungry for rice or not yet?
J- Not yet, Thank you. Are you hungry for rice or not yet?
M- Not yet.
J- Your bracelettes are nice, who give you?
M- I bought them myself. Here I give one to daughter, because I love daughter.
J- Thank you very much.
M- Do you like it?
J-Yes I do.
M- Your wrists are fatter than mine.
J- Yes I know, but that's okay I am taller than you too.
M- Yes that's true. You are a nice height.
J- Thank you Mother of Toy.
M- Your welcome daughter. have you had enough hot water yet?
J- Yes I have, or I can stay. I am okay either way.
M- I have had enough already, let's go eat rice together.
J- Okay let's go.
M- Buty ou need to change, let's go home and I will give you another shirt.
J- You already gave me a shirt which is wet, so now I can put my own clothes back on.
M- I think you would look better in one of my shirts. I want to give you many things to take care of you.
J- Okay, thank you. (cannot refuse a gift from someone higher than you, cannot argue with someone higher than you)
M- Go?
J- Go.

So we get in the car and she calls Toy.
M- Hello Son!
T- Hello mother. happy day of mothers.
M- Thank you son. how are you?
T- good yes. how are you and jessica doing?
M-we are havnig a lot of fun. She is lovely so so lovely. I love her.
T- Good I love her too. But she is a foreigner so she's not allowed to love me yet.
M- Yes she told me already, you can wait for her to love you son.
T- Yes I can wait forever. (DOH.... TOO SERIOUS...!! but that's how all thai relationships go, as I'm finding out. they decide at first sighti f they love you or not.)

so then they chit chat a bit more about me, and how lovely I am and about our relationship together and what we've done already (before 9am...) and then we go to their house and I get peer pressured into having another shower for teh day. 2, before 10 am. So after I shower she gives me some of her tacki tacki clothes. She givesm e a brigth multi pink shaded long frilly skirt, with a silk giant baggy tshirt covered in shells, clicky things and beads. I tell her I think maybe this shirt will be too hot and maybe I could wear my own shirt and she says you can ify ou want but I think if you wear mine it will be nicer. daughter, if you don'tl iek that one, try this one! so I try another shirt on and it's a white plain tshirt, baggy, with a big HOT PINK bow accross the chest. I decide that it probably won't getm uch better than that and I smile and get in the car to go visit Grandmother of Toy. She says I look very very beautiful and she's proud that I'm her daughter (lol?)

So we drive mostly in silence for an hour and a half (her boyrfiend is there too- step father of Toy, I don't have to call him dad, I can call him "older person than me" = Pee) Occasionally she asks me how much something costs in Canada, or if I like smoething, or if I'm hungry for rice or not yet and says I'm a very lovely girl does my mother miss me, and why don't I want to go back to Canada yet. I tell her that actually I do want to go, but I love Thailand also. She asks me when I go if I will stay there or return, because my "darling" (one fo the only words she knows in Engilsh) is in Thailand. I tell her I'm not sure. (because I'm not. )

We arrive in her hometown and go to visit everyone, cousins, children, grandmothers, aunts, sisters etc etc friends. They basically just wanted to show off that their family has a foreigner who likes them. They spend all day talking about me, asking all the common questions ;
common questions include: what is she doing in Thailand? Why does she like Toy, he has dark skin? (they are sooo racist against dark skin) - how old is she? Where are her parents? What school does she teach at? When will they get married? Why is she fat and tall? Why does she have blonde hair? Why does she have blue eyes? Where did she buy her purse? What does she like to eat? Is she hungry for rice or not yet? Does she have any olders or youngers (*equivilent to our " brothers and sisters" but gender doesn't matter here, only age) ? Can she speak/understand Thai? Where does shel ive? Can she drive? ETC ETC ETC ETC they never stop. Very very curious.

Mother of Toy took a break from the stress of being with a foreigner who draws all people's attention, and her sister took me out for a while to meet her boyfriend at the police station. When we got there the policeman stared at me weird for 10 minutes and then talked to me and gave me delicious exotic fruit which I only know the Thai name for. We talked abouta ll of the common questions that I've mentioned, and after 10 more minutes I told him he had a nice face and he said I must have very good eyes. After that he stopped looking at me weird and started looking at me even weirder and when Mother of Toy's sister turned around he invited me to come back later. I declined politely and left with my exotic fruits and returned to Mother of Toy.

So after they show me off to everyone we went home to eat rice and fruit because it is rice eating time. after we eat rice, it's too hot to be awake so we take a nap on the floor together. When we wake up we take turns taking a shower and then go do more visits to everyone and get asked all the same questions again. Everyone gives me sniff kisses (a really gentle kiss that the Thai's do, but instead of using theirl ips to kiss they sniff you jut a little bit to make sure you are clean tidy and respectful. if you stink it shows you don't care about their presence or you are very comfortable in their presence so stinking could be a good or a bad thing) and they try to speak English to me, gives me bags of fruit and clothes to show that they want to take care of me, give me their phone numbers and then we leave. Then it is time to come home and I fall asleep in the car and get dropped off outside my home. Mother of Toy comments again that my house is nice but it's not as comfortable as hers because I don't have air conditioning and if I want I acn live with her anytime. I tell her my contracti s not up and that I must keep my own house. She says okay but when the contract is up please live with her. I smile and say happy mother's day, thank you for the lovely day.

And go meet Reffa, who may or may not also ahve appendicitis?!

What a day.